Just Rodney...

I'm a 24, a teacher, and these are some of my thoughts. I'd love to hear your comments - hopefully their nice ones - but I'll take anything.

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Location: Tomball, Texas, United States

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Black, White or Gray? - What JAM said...

My friend Jam and I had planned on playing tonight (his name is Julius - initials JAM). I rolled over to his house at around 8PM. We we're both pretty tired, so we didn't end up playing any music. We just watched the Rockets game and talked. He had just talked to our old drummer who is living in New York, trying to get him to move there as well. Jam has been back and forth with whether or not he wants to move to New York and is currently leaning towards moving. I think he wants me to go with him. Tonight he was eluding to the move and how great the music would be if we could play with Byron again. I smirked and reminded him that I moved to Texas to be part of Wellspring.

We talked about some other things.

Then he came back to it; he said that I was an educated, intellectual person. He said he had a lot of respect for me; for the way we can make music. One of the greatest compliments he paid me was this: He told me I was tolerant, but that tolerant wasn't the best word for what it was he respected about me. It was about how the things we believe in are so different, but that I had found a way to treat him the same without compromising my beliefs, without robbing the friendship. I like that. I like that I'm learning how to be in relationship with people that are different from me and it not be a project type of mentality. He said that he thought it was not fitting for me to stay in Tomball or even Houston (his opinion of course). That he thought I'm more cracked up to travel and wanderer. He says that spirituality is creativity (or maybe I said that and he agreed with me or something). Basically he wonders why I will stay in Tomball - even if my situation changes and I have the ability to wander somewhere else.

It's hard to see the gray areas. We tend to think things are either black or white. Everything is so extreme. You either settle in a small town for the rest of your life or you wander from big city to big city. You're either artistic and creative or dull and lifeless. You're either full suit professional or tattooed, pierced and don't give a damn about your job. I think I want to be gray. True, New York would be fun - it would be another adventure. But I've found so much here in Texas. I have met some incredible people, and am journeying with an awesome community. I have so much to look forward to. And once I get my teaching job lined up I plan on buying a house. I can use it for ministry; let people live with me. Make music in my house. I can spend my summers traveling when I'm not teaching. And I don't mean vacation. Vacation is when you spend a few weeks in another country, see the sites, eat the food, and fly home. I'm talking about living with my new friends all around the world. Soaking in their culture. LIVING with them. I'm going to Germany, London, Australia, Scotland, Slovenia. So why can't I do that somewhere else? I guess I could, but I like it here and plan on staying a long time. Things could change, but for now I'm a Texan. I think I will be gray - not completely unsettled and wandering, but not completely stuck in Tomball - stationed here, moving where I want. That's a nice shade of gray.


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