Just Rodney...

I'm a 24, a teacher, and these are some of my thoughts. I'd love to hear your comments - hopefully their nice ones - but I'll take anything.

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Location: Tomball, Texas, United States

Sunday, October 22, 2006

The ongoing process of learning to self-differentiate...

I think this might be one of those life long process things. One of those things that just when you feel like you're feeling like you've grown a bunch, something happens; something happens and you find out that you've still got a long way to go - for me I still find myself feeling threatened by what others think of me (especially Christians). I think Brenning Manning put it well in his book Raggamuffin Gospel:
"When we accept ourselves for what we are, we decrease our hunger for power or the acceptance of others because our self-intimacy reinforces our inner sense of security. We are no longer preoccupied with being powerful or popular. We no longer fear criticism because we accept the reality of our human limitations. Once integrated, we are less often plagued with the desire to please others because simply being true to ourselves brings lasting peace. We are grateful for life and we deeply appreciate and love ourselves." (pg.49-50)
I long for the day when I will be more secure, when I will understand that God is in love with me like he was in love with Israel - not to understand it simply in a headyknowledgeablele type of way; but in a way that will sink into my bones, into the essence of who I am - who I was created to be, in a way that will allow me to experience God's love for me and overflow into my life and all who surround me. I trust that God is in my life, that He loves me and is watching over me, that He is pleased with the move to Texas - maybe even proud, and is working in the lives of those around me.


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